For the last time

It actually happened. I knew this day would come, I just had no clue how bad it would hurt and how quick it was really coming. Today Chris began our move to VA and just pulled out of 1060 Summit Dr. for the last time. I'll be staying here in G'ville for a couple of weeks to go through the closing on this house and keep the dogs until our VA house is closed on.

Today was strange. We woke up, I went to grab breakfast for us at Dunkin Donuts (our pantry and fridge are now bare). I brought breakfast home and we did some things around the house/packed up clothes in wardrobe boxes. For lunch we decided to go to our favorite Mexican restaurant, Compadres, one more time. They know us so well they don't even bother to hand out the menus. We ate a very good lunch (that salsa is oh-so-addicting!) then came home to realize we had locked ourselves out of the house.  The last thing we wanted to do was call a locksmith on a Sunday to let us back into our own house. [Side note: If you've ever been through a move, you know how pricey it can be.] For such a mindless mistake we knew there was likely a (yet another) big price to pay. The locksmith came out and it turns out we have an upside-down lock (and it was impossible to pick) so he had to replace the whole darn thing. TWO HUNDRED dollars later--it was fixed.

Of course Chris also somehow managed to lose/misplace one of his shoes and his sunglasses (which only added to the chaos of the day as he was trying to get packed up and out the door). The contractor doing all the house repairs was banging on the house fixing board after board. Eventually, we both just couldn't take any more stress, noise, to-dos, bills, or phone calls. All the little things and much bigger things were mounting up.We just held onto each other and cried. In that moment in my busy brain I knew it was the last time we'd be standing in our first home, the last time we'd be in the space we tried so hard to make ours. Flashbacks of eating pizza on the bare floors on move-in day, putting up the icicle lights at Christmas, eating our chili on the porch as trick-or-treaters arrived, cooking glorious meals in our kitchen, having our friends and family over, landscaping the yard, planting our garden, picking out new furniture and paint all just whirled around making me dizzy with emotion then extremely still.The world just stopped around us and things felt quieter. The dogs even felt it and stayed right there with us. I fell in love all over again. We had made all those memories together. Chris eventually walked out the door for the last time, got in the car, pulled out of the driveway and signed an "I love you" as he always does through the car window. I reciprocated  by signing it back then holding up "2" fingers as I always do. That, my friends, will never change.

Before

 

 

 

After

I know I will be okay as long as I can just be there to hold Chris and tell him I love him, feel it back and have our pups by our sides. No matter where we live or what we live in--that's what will matter most. There are new memories to be made.

Love,

Missing Him Already



"If I lay here, If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"- Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol