I recently made the very careful choice to resign from my job to be with you. I want you to know that I never encourage "quitting," but peace is essential in life. I truly love teaching, but my heart felt extremely heavy and conflicted every single day before I committed to this decision. I felt split, scattered, burdened, and frustrated. I felt time slipping through my fingers as my exhausted mind and body half-way witnessed you grow. I desperately wanted to be fully present for you. I wanted to relish this time and make all the necessary sacrifices so it could be possible. I am thankful for your Daddy and his encouragement through it all.
I have dreamed of being your mommy and a wife for my whole life. Don't get me wrong, I have many other dreams, too. Actually, I dream and create all the time. But, right now, I hear God telling me it's time to invest in my family. Even writing this out makes my heart feel so much peace and sheer joy. This morning, I felt called to read Proverbs 31:10-31 again. In my letter to Julia I focused on the part in verse 17, "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." The funny thing is that there's a new kind of work and, most definitely, a new kind of strength required now. Once again, I am made to realize women are phenomenal creatures. We adapt and we're gritty.
I now have the privilege of spending my days with you, and God has written new pages of my story. I never could have dreamed I'd get to be here. Literally, a page turn over from Proverbs 31 is a whole section in Ecclesiastes about time. There is truly a time for all things. It says specifically that there's a time to plant and a time to uproot. It doesn't distinguish how long those seasons last or how close they might be to one another. I find myself uprooting from one part of life and planting, so very carefully, in another. I am right where He needs me.
Now it's time to plant, heal, and build. Girls, it's time to laugh, time to dance, and it is, without question, a time to keep.
Love,
Mommy
