No, I wont lie to you and say that it's been easy breezy. At times, there's this huge cloud hovering over my head that cracks a thundering whip of guilt for not having a seamless "career." It's become the culture we live in for everyone to stay busy and work all the time.
Be honest: How many times are you out and get the question, "So, what do you do?" I know I have asked it and had it asked of me countless times. It's like that's the defining element of a person but is it fair? I went back to school to get my teaching license for the past two years for a reason. I want to teach and have a career. I want a definitive schedule and a "plan." I want to be able to answer that question with: "I teach." I just can't right now. [Just to be clear, I know that all the things I do right now are real jobs and real work with real pay but I didn't go to school or back to school for what I am currently doing.]
Here's the BIG but: I have realized that this time is such a gift. It's a little quieter, less stressful, and, for once, I am less anxious and calm(er). This IS God's plan for me right now. This is where He wants me. He is providing for me/us in so many wonderful ways and I am grateful. I am trying to sleep more, read a little and do things I love. I even feel like a better wife, friend, daughter, etc.
I am finally understanding what it's like to breathe and give myself grace. It's ok that some days my schedule is blank or that my To Dos are fewer. After all, the past couple of years have been a wild ride; the engine has slowed and I guess I am up for an oil change (to stick with the metaphor). For anyone out there who's in a similar stage, enjoy it! You and I both know it wont last. Life changes all the time. Stillness is good. Days off are great.
Now, tell me, what is it that you do?
How did that make you feel? Do you like to be defined by your job? Does that question ever offend any of you? What alternative question should we ask? Are you too busy these days? [These are as rhetorical as you wish them to be. Comment below if you want!]
Give yourself grace starting today no matter what season you're in. Thankfully, we don't have to answer to anyone but Him. :)
Love,
Lauren
