For Now

For Now

your hands

have never

picked a flower

gripped an ice cream cone

opened a book

examined a seashell

tossed a ball

twirled your hair

pointed across the way

kept a beat

wiped a tear

painted wildly

clapped in delight

written a letter

captured a bug

maneuvered a wheel

put on a dress

helped you shout

splashed in the lake

squeezed a teddy

turned on a light

rolled out some dough

petted a kitten

dropped something

reached for a hug

but

they hold mine tightly, for now.

Happy 2 Months, lady Julia! Mama loves you so.

What do you do?

Happy [snowy] Tuesday, friends! For those of you who don't know, I have spent this year (since our move back to Greenville) doing a few different things. I substitute teach, I nanny a 14 month old boy, and volunteer a tiny bit. I must say that, at times, life seems so in-between.

No, I wont lie to you and say that it's been easy breezy. At times, there's this huge cloud hovering over my head that cracks a thundering whip of guilt for not having a seamless "career." It's become the culture we live in for everyone to  stay busy and work all the time.

Be honest: How many times are you out and get the question, "So, what do you do?" I know I have asked it and had it asked of me countless times. It's like that's the defining element of a person but is it fair? I went back to school to get my teaching license for the past two years for a reason. I want to teach and have a career. I want a definitive schedule and a "plan." I want to be able to answer that question with: "I teach." I just can't right now. [Just to be clear, I know that all the things I do right now are real jobs and real work with real pay but I didn't go to school or back to school for what I am currently doing.]

Here's the BIG but: I have realized that this time is such a gift. It's a little quieter, less stressful, and, for once, I am less anxious and calm(er). This IS God's plan for me right now. This is where He wants me. He is providing for me/us in so many wonderful ways and I am grateful. I am trying to sleep more, read a little and do things I love. I even feel like a better wife, friend, daughter, etc.

I am finally understanding what it's like to breathe and give myself grace. It's ok that some days my schedule is blank or that my To Dos are fewer. After all, the past couple of years have been a wild ride; the engine has slowed and I guess I am up for an oil change (to stick with the metaphor). For anyone out there who's in a similar stage, enjoy it! You and I both know it wont last. Life changes all the time. Stillness is good. Days off are great.

Now, tell me, what is it that you do? 

How did that make you feel? Do you like to be defined by your job? Does that question ever offend any of you? What alternative question should we ask? Are you too busy these days? [These are as rhetorical as you wish them to be. Comment below if you want!]

Give yourself grace starting today no matter what season you're in. Thankfully, we don't have to answer to anyone but Him. :)

Love,

Lauren

Big, Scary Dream.

It's still technically a new year and I have very high hopes for 2015. Now that I have gotten all my coursework out of the way and my full teaching license is FINALLY processing....my mind can't help but wander to my next venture (aside from actually getting a new teaching job).

Believe it or not...I thought for two seconds about going back to school but a.) my husband and family would most definitely think I'd lost it and b.) stress. too much stress. Although, I think I've figured out that I secretly like stress and I really like to learn. I know, nerd alert! So, what, you ask, is up next? Truthfully, I have no idea. Remember, I'm trying not to resolve this year.

I do, however, have a BIG. SCARY. DREAM. This is actually terrifying to admit and it most likely will not happen in 2015. It may never happen. It frustrates me just as much as it excites me. If I tell you, that means it's out there in the open. People will know. You might even encourage me or hold me accountable....yikes. I seriously have butterflies as I type.

Ok, here it goes:

I want to be published one day. This is a dream that hasn't gone away. It's been written on my heart for years and only the closest people in my life have known about this desire. I mean, I feel a bit silly thinking about it sometimes. I haven't written tons (other than in journals since I was in third grade). I am not an English major. I don't have a Masters or a PhD. Besides, I don't know any publishers personally and really don't even know how to begin. I tell myself all the time, "I'm not credible" and simply, "I can't."

But here's the thing: sometimes I walk through my days and think of life in terms of poetry or children's literature. When something horrible happens, I want to write. When something spectacular happens, I want to write. Sometimes I actually do it and sometimes those thoughts just get lost in the dark, scary crevices of my brain [...eww].

In the classroom, my favorite subject to teach is Language Arts. The best aspect of teaching is to read books and poetry aloud to children. I love to watch their little minds escape and inspire them to imagine. [Imagining seems to be a dying art.] I want to be one of the creators of characters and the worlds they live in. Most of all, I want to encourage children to write. By writing stories myself, wouldn't I be more likely to have that kind of clout?

My dream has a Part 2: After I get published, I'd love to travel to schools and read to students or share my learning program with other teachers. I realize I am dreaming but I am okay with that. It doesn't hurt to dream. Isn't that what I just said I wanted to teach my students? I want to teach them to imagine and to imagine is to dream.

I would really love to know your dreams. What is it that truly terrifies you but continues to nag you most every day? What idea begs to be realized in your lifetime? Please share in your own blog and leave the link below or send me a personal message and I'll post it on mine. Share it with me over coffee. I'd love to encourage you. If it helps, I actually feel some kind of relief after sharing.



Lauren

Not to resolve.

Resolution
definition: a firm decision to do or not to do something

Resolve
definition: decide firmly on a course of action


In 2015, my resolution is not to resolve. You may simply take this to mean I am just not going to have a resolution. You might see it as a cop-out. A goal-less decision for a bright new year. But I do have a resolution after all; I am going to try really hard not to resolve.

Oh how ironic that statement is. Trying really hard to make or to not make something happen is exactly what I don't want to do this year. You can probably sense the struggle. I am a Type-A perfectionist with an ENFJ Meyers Briggs personality. Trying really hard is what I do. It goes against ever fiber of my being to stop trying so hard. Stop controlling everything. Stop planning. Stop looking ahead so much.

I cannot tell you how many prayers I've prayed this year about trusting God. I have asked Him so often to lead me; I have asked him to tell me which direction to go. Somehow I feel like I always end up trying to take over. I get impatient. Maybe my 2015 mantra should be to let "Jesus Take the Wheel" (thanks, Carrie) or for a slightly less cheesy approach, "Let Go and Let God?" All I know is when I try so hard to make things happen the way I want them to God still wins every time. His plans are always better than mine. Sometimes that's really hard. It's especially hard when I have my mind set on what I wanted. What I have to remember is that there is a reason for his timing and his provision is precise and calculated. It's not. up. to. me.

So, here's what I believe might help me with my resolution: I want to focus on Him. I want to move and change as He directs me to. I want to be available and free. I want to recognize the desires of my heart as natural goals He planted there. I want to listen for his call to act and not dwell on things I cannot change. I want to be patient. And, when I inevitably fail at these things, I want the people I love to remind me of these statements.

In Virginia, Chris made me a beautiful chalkboard fashioned from part of an old door and a piece of painted plywood. The very first verse I wrote on it was:

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all ways submit to Him and He will make your path straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Now that is my mantra for 2015. What's yours?

Lauren

New Year, New Look

Happy New Year, dear friends! I have been wanting to write an update for a while; holidays have a funny way of keeping us busy. In addition to all the festivities we have been working on some house updates. I am excited to officially reveal the final look to you today!

We have LOVED our new house and didn't have to change much upon move-in as it was built seven years ago. This house has a different feel entirely from our VA house (built in 1929). The two houses are opposite from one another in appearance yet they both felt/feel like home. Like my dad always says, "A house feels like a home after you spend a holiday in it." He's so right.

So, flashback to September. We painted almost every room the week before we moved in. It was amazing how different colors changed the whole feel of the house. We went with grays and blue/green hues. Some of my favorites include Mindful Gray (most of the house) Silvermist (kitchen/master bath),and Anew Gray (master bedroom) by Sherwin Williams.

I didn't start this post to talk about paint colors (although I do have an affinity for that sorta thing nowadays). I got off on a bit of a tangent. The REAL reason I am posting is to tell you about our addition/changes to the living room. When we bought the house there were two large recessed spaces on either side of the fireplace. It was pretty obvious that built-ins were meant to be there. Chris and I set out on a mission to make this happen but we knew we would need to phone a friend (or two) to help. Greg, Chris' uncle, makes beautiful furniture and can really do anything he sets his mind to. He has a shop in his basement with some seriously impressive equipment to cut, level, plane, saw, nail, patch, and design wooden furniture. We gave him a call to see if he would build the custom pieces for us. And he said yes! We had not a clue what we were asking this man to do. I have to say, for the record, that we are incredibly grateful to him and aunt Pam for all the hours of hard work and love they put into making these massive, custom pieces for us. I also have to give a huge shout out to Jeff and Chris for all their hard work. I even now know how to use a water saw. Talk about feeling like you've arrived.

After getting a yes from Greg, we had to decide on the details. I had a picture from Ballard Designs magazine which served as the inspiration for the project. Visualize arches at the top, with wide, vertical bead board, dark counter tops, and changeable shelving. All of these elements came to fruition in the final design!

In addition to the built-ins, Chris and Jeff transformed the fireplace. They removed the creamy/yellowy marble framed out in white and up went the new stacked quartz/stone with a travertine hearth and a thick, rustic piece of walnut for the mantel. I make it sound like magic but this stuff is hard work.

Enough talk. I give you before and afters.

It's a little blurry but you can see the recessed spaces and the fireplace before the updates.

After. Ta da! (You have to look closely to see the vertical bead board backing the shelves.)

 It was fun to style the shelves and add these knobs to the cabinet doors for the finishing touches. I'd love to hear about some of your favorite design blogs or house projects! Feel free to comment below. There you have it. New year. New look. I like newness.

Happy 2015,

Lauren

Roanoke Top Ten

If Greenville, SC and Asheville, NC had a baby, they would name him Roanoke. I can't call it "our town" too much longer but humor me... "Our town" has the smaller metropolitan flair like Greenville but the mountainous and hippy/granola feel of Asheville. It's a perfect combination, really.

I already mentioned that our friends are pretty amazing here and they are definitely our favorite thing but there are a few honorable mentions worth writing home about. Chris and I have had a very hard time narrowing this list of Roanoke favorites but here's what we came up with:

Roanoke Top 10 Favorites

1. Christ Our Redeemer church - A modest, truth-filled, and personable place to worship with some of the most genuine people we've ever met.

2. Mountain views - Everywhere you drive in Roanoke, you feel encapsulated by mountains (one of which has an awesome erector set-like star on top; hence the nickname, "Star City.") The fall is especially gorgeous here and, well, fall's my favorite.

3. Grandin Village - Within walking distance from our house, this tiny downtown houses great restaurants (see #9), ice cream/coffee shops, retail stores, a Co-op, local market on Saturday mornings, and a movie theater, "The Grandin" built in 1932. If you go about a mile down the road from Grandin Village, you will be at Black Dog Salvage featured on DIY Network's Salvage Dawgs.

4. Mount Vernon Rd. (Raleigh Court) - Our street, simply put, is the best. Everyone is always outside in the warm months on front porches ready for good conversation. We were taught early on about "Flamingo Parties" where you just stick a pink flamingo in your yard and everyone on the block shows up with a chair and a few drinks to enjoy - instant party! And in one word I have to add: location, location, location.

5. Kroger - This sounds ridiculous but we LOVE Kroger. This isn't just any grocery store. There are a few in the area that have an extra special reputation. One of them has been deemed "Beer Kroger" and the other, "Wine Kroger" for exceptional selections of fine beverages. 

6. Hiking - Roanoke is the perfect spot to become one with the great outdoors. We have hiked McAfee Knob, Dragon's Tooth, Cascade Falls, and Bottom Creek Gorge (some even multiple times). It helps that two of the hikes are right near great restaurants so you have even more to look forward to when you're done. Cascade Falls is near Blacksburg/ VA Tech - Cabo Fish Taco is great! McAfee Knob is near The Homeplace: an old farmhouse-turned-restaurant situated on gorgeous pastures -- family-style country cooking at its finest! All of this has been an awesome way to entertain visitors and explore new views of the valley.

7. Local Brews - This area has awesome breweries and wineries. I have learned so much more about beer living here. My favorites are Devil's Backbone, Vienna Lager and Wild Wolf, Blonde Honey. I'd highly recommend taking a tour.

8. Downtown Roanoke - There are awesome places to eat, shop (La De Da, Chocolate Paper, the market, etc.) and stay (Hotel Roanoke!). Don't let the quaint, small-town feel fool you...it's packed with greatness.

9. Restaurants - Blue Apron (in Salem): This is our favorite fine dining experience in the area. Reservations are necessary in this beautifully intimate restaurant with exposed brick walls and a Charlestonian personality. In Grandin Village go to Jimmy Sardines pizza (especially on Buy 1 Get 1 Thursdays) and 1906 Ale House for scallops and burgers . Downtown we frequented Jack Browns, Alejandro's, Billy's, and Wasabi. We must also mention El Rodeo for Friday night margaritas with friends!

10. Our House - Built in 1929, our four square home has a ton of character. Everything from glass door knobs, original gum wood molding and doors, radiators, space where an old telephone booth used to be, original tub and knobs, and a kitchen nook all tell a story. The outside is even better. The welcoming brick archway leads into a massive front porch with a swing. We spend so much time on the porch. I can never get enough of the view of our mature weeping cherry and maples, colorful flowers in the planters, and frequent "hellos" from neighbors. The backyard has a small screened porch and an amazing array of perennials. In the first year, the flowers gave us a seasonal surprise party. We also have a "secret garden" behind the detached garage that we have lovingly deemed "the barn." To the people who lived in the house before us: thank you for working so hard in this yard; we've thoroughly enjoyed it!

So, that's it! A Roanoke Top 10 list. If you haven't visited before, I hope this is inspiration enough for you to come visit. I just have to get used to the idea of being a visitor myself...


Until Next Time,

Lauren

Common Lives of Grace

We have eleven days until our time in Roanoke officially expires. I have only very recently let my mind drift to that inevitability. I have discovered that leaving is going to be really hard and in the words of a good friend, "I don't like it. I don't like it one bit."

As we converse with people about the move (especially people on the other side of the move in Greenville), I think there's this assumption that we just got settled here. Typically remarks go something like... "Oh, you're probably just getting settled after two years and now you have to move!" But, honestly, that's just not the case.

The decision to move here 2 years ago was made within 48 hours as there was a threat looming of a hiring freeze at GE. We came up to Roanoke on a rapid weekend trip for the very first time and had to make a decision by Sunday. After a lot of ups, downs, backs and forths and plenty of uncertainty, we decided to make the move. We decided to just do it: pick up and move 4+ hours from everything we've known. Looking back, I know we were led.

Everything has been like that here: decisions and paths that have led us to plant fast-growing roots.Our jobs, our house/neighborhood, our church membership, and our friendships.

In all of these decisions, God has been growing us. He has shown us amazing things here. As we joined the church (one of the many decisions we made that led to those fast, deep roots), this was the verse I chose to share with the congregation. It has been representative of our recent struggles and I have a feeling it will always be a great compass in Truth.

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all ways, submit to Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

We have struggled in trust but in that struggle, we have learned more of what it really is. God put all of these decisions before us so that we could lean on Him. Trust Him. I have no doubt that He has led and directed our path here so that we could discover these people and grasp more of what His Church looks like. One of the greatest things is that I have been given a definition of what Church is and I have witnessed it. The Church isn't just a place or a building you personally attend on a Sunday but it is the full body of believers working for the glory of the Lord. In my experience, Roanoke has a mighty Church.

We have gained an incredible community of friends here who happen to be part of that Church. People who sit down with you and want to know your whole story. People who want to know about your walk with Christ and hold you accountable. People who love you unconditionally. People who will meet you on a week night for a game of tennis or ride bikes to a local pizza shop. People who plan road trips with you and want to continue to do that for years to come. People who will provide you meals during difficult times and show up at your door to hug you on hard days. People who will cry with you. People who will encourage you in your career. People who will have coffee (or wine) with you on the porch. People who offer to watch your dogs and house while you are away. People who have moved away themselves and still call to ask how you're doing. People who know your struggles, your passions, and your joys. People who have promised their friendship doesn't end on August 22nd.

Intentionality is a word I have heard that describes this type of friendship and I love it. It is so real and so full of love. It is inspired and driven. It is the way God intends for us to be with one another. To be clear, I am writing this as a tribute to the last two years but have also recognized that other rare and golden friendships in my life have had this same quality. They have been highlighted and appreciated through my growth here. I confess that I have learned to be more intentional with friendship and I hope I don't stop. And, please, hold me to that!

In the benediction each week at church, the last part of the prayer spoken by the people goes something like this:

"Sustain us in this labor of love, inspire us with works of faith, and knit us together in our common lives of grace. Do perfectly good things through our imperfect lives in the coming week through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen."

Common lives of grace: Common people. Sinful people. People who have been given a gift they don't deserve. I just adore the simply-stated complexity, depth, and nature of that phrase. It is the epitome of my experience here; I feel woven, knit together. Everyday, common people that are knit together by grace with so much to share with one another and the world. We do, in fact, lead common lives but have been given such a miraculous Gift. Maybe God brought us here for us to know more about how to pass it on.