Not to resolve.

Resolution
definition: a firm decision to do or not to do something

Resolve
definition: decide firmly on a course of action


In 2015, my resolution is not to resolve. You may simply take this to mean I am just not going to have a resolution. You might see it as a cop-out. A goal-less decision for a bright new year. But I do have a resolution after all; I am going to try really hard not to resolve.

Oh how ironic that statement is. Trying really hard to make or to not make something happen is exactly what I don't want to do this year. You can probably sense the struggle. I am a Type-A perfectionist with an ENFJ Meyers Briggs personality. Trying really hard is what I do. It goes against ever fiber of my being to stop trying so hard. Stop controlling everything. Stop planning. Stop looking ahead so much.

I cannot tell you how many prayers I've prayed this year about trusting God. I have asked Him so often to lead me; I have asked him to tell me which direction to go. Somehow I feel like I always end up trying to take over. I get impatient. Maybe my 2015 mantra should be to let "Jesus Take the Wheel" (thanks, Carrie) or for a slightly less cheesy approach, "Let Go and Let God?" All I know is when I try so hard to make things happen the way I want them to God still wins every time. His plans are always better than mine. Sometimes that's really hard. It's especially hard when I have my mind set on what I wanted. What I have to remember is that there is a reason for his timing and his provision is precise and calculated. It's not. up. to. me.

So, here's what I believe might help me with my resolution: I want to focus on Him. I want to move and change as He directs me to. I want to be available and free. I want to recognize the desires of my heart as natural goals He planted there. I want to listen for his call to act and not dwell on things I cannot change. I want to be patient. And, when I inevitably fail at these things, I want the people I love to remind me of these statements.

In Virginia, Chris made me a beautiful chalkboard fashioned from part of an old door and a piece of painted plywood. The very first verse I wrote on it was:

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all ways submit to Him and He will make your path straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Now that is my mantra for 2015. What's yours?

Lauren