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| Courtney Malone Photography |
We are three weeks in as
a family of four and we've been extremely fortunate to have many family members
and friends come to love on us over the last few weeks. For me, it is one of
the best parts of bringing baby home. With that said, I happen to have a couple
of close friends who are weeks away from joining the "Family of Four
Club." Naturally, they are very curious how it is really going.
One of them jokingly remarked that it seemed like everything was going
perfectly based on my Instagram posts. That was when it hit me that I had
something more to share.
Let's backtrack to week
one of bringing home baby #2. We came home from the hospital on July
4th. For those of you who don't know, we have another daughter, Julia, who
is 2 years and 8 months old. We intricately planned the logistics of how we'd
bring baby home so that our oldest would assume her role as "Big
Sis." We made sure she was at the hospital with us and that she rode home
in the car and even helped carry the baby over the threshold. We wanted her to
feel established and big and important. We were home only a few minutes before
chaos ensued. Julia got out the baby play mat, laid under it, and reverted back
to a full-blown, cooing, babbling baby. Our extremely verbal, capable toddler
was acting just like an infant. You hear stories about kids reverting...but
this...this was unreal.
That same afternoon, I
was doing my best to get the hang of breastfeeding without the support of a
remote-controlled hospital bed. Having had a second c-section, sitting on the
couch to feed was awkward and uncomfortable. As I am leading that ring of the
circus, Julia begins to require one-on-one attention from her daddy. For the
past two months, she has refused to poo in the potty OR in her diaper. She
withholds for up to six days until it is painful. Well, homecoming day was one
of those special, painful days. It lasted for three hours (whining, cramping,
repeat) until she finally went. Homecoming day concluded as Julia and Chris
watched fireworks from the driveway, and I was able to see a few out the living
room window from my swivel chair as I fed the babe.
I don't remember much
about the next day. Late the following evening (around 1:30 am) Chris took his
temperature and discovered he had a fever of 102.3. I, of course, banished him
to the man cave to sleep and called my mom in the middle of the night to come
help me. We changed the sheets and she slept over with me, helping with diaper
changes every couple of hours. My mother-in-law immediately drove from the lake
the next morning and picked up Julia. She took her to stay at the lake for a
couple of days. Meanwhile, Chris went to the doctor the next day only to find
out that he has some kind of virus that causes chills, fever, skin sensitivity,
and loss of appetite. He had to stay away from baby for 48 hours post fever, so
he spent his nights at his parent's house. He and Julia were finally able to
rejoin us on Sunday.
Fast forward to the
second week where we ended up taking a middle-of-the-night trip to the ER for
some (what turned out to be minor) complications. My mom, once again, came
rushing over in the middle of the night to stay with Julia. From 2:00 am-6:00
am I had blood work and ultrasounds. In the midst of all that, I had to
breastfeed an infant in my emergency room bed with an IV in one arm. It was
laughable. After I was discharged, we stopped at McDonalds for biscuit at
sunrise and went straight home to sterilize ourselves and the baby. Truly, we
just had to laugh.
As I think back on some
of the sweet moments in all the aforementioned chaos, I remember my brother
meeting Ilaria for the first time. As a doctor, he can't help but put his
skills to use and check for things like infant reflexes. As he checked the
grasp reflex, her tiny fingers instantly wrapped around his. It has stuck with
me since then that we were literally made to hold on. From the
beginning, one of our first instincts is to cling on. It is not the first time
that this little phenomenon has left me inspired (read here). We were made to hold on. We need each
other. We need our parents. We need our friends. Babies need their mommies.
Mommies need their babies. We were made to hold on and we were made to
love and be loved. It was definitely not a mistake, but a tiny hint from God,
that we come into the world with this need, literally.
Metaphorically speaking,
we were also made to hold on. When life gets tough, we have to hold on. When
life is really good, we joyfully hold on. On a roller coaster, through all the
dips and whirls, you naturally grasp tightly. We hold on in gratitude, and we
hold on in the expectation that we will continue to have something to grasp.
Having something to cling to can also always be equated to the promise that we
never walk alone.
So, I guess you can say
we've held on in the last few weeks and, honestly, it has been
really, really good. We've had friends bring us meals and stay to keep us
company. We've had great medical care. We've had family step in and care
for us without question - at any hour. And, we have a beautiful new daughter to
wrap her tiny fingers around ours and remind us (in case we almost forgot) that
we were made for one another and to hold on.
You
made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my
mother's womb. Psalm 129:13
